- Your women's studies prof: Class, do you think pornography enables male entitlement?
- You: Well, according to this essay I read by someone who does porn, it doesn't make a lot of sense to just critique it as a piece of media + not a site + product of highly stigmatized labor. So, yes, it does, but that may largely be beside the point of where and how male violence occurs in relation to pornography.
- That lady at your local NOW chapter: It is WRONG for men to purchase sex, therefore we must make it illegal.
- You: I agree that capitalist conditions create coercive and abusive situations for those in the sex industry, but carceral solutions don't address that underlying issue.
- Your younger sister: *points at a Maxim magazine cover* Isn't it wrong that there are all these sexualized pictures of women everywhere?
- You: It's wrong that the male gaze is all-pervasive and our idea of the ideal woman is profoundly racist, sizeist, ableist, and cissexist. It's also wrong that these images exist within the context of a violent patriarchal culture, but the images themselves are not wrong.
- Some rando in your ask box: How do we end the abuse of people in the sex industries?
- You: Let me link you to this blog by sex workers advocating for workers' rights.
- Your boyfriend: Why is there so much bad sex in porn?
- You: Let me show you this essay on porn by a sex worker.
- Your girlfriend: Stripping is exploitative.
- You: Let me show you this academic article written by a stripper.
- Your aunt: Dominatrices probably think they're empowered but really--
- You: Here's a thing written by a sex worker.
- Your grandpa: Prostitution--
- You: Here's a thing written by a sex worker.
- Your cat:
- You: Good point, let me read you this issue of Prose & Lore out loud.
- You: *signal boosts our words + shows up at rallies + emails legislators + gives orgs like Abeni + Sex Workers Project all your damn money*
When I was working at a dungeon, on top of having abusive management, I stumbled into an abusive living situation as well. And every day, I thought to myself, “I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone at home because of what I do.” Which is totally backwards, but we live in a crazy whorephobic world, so it’s very easy to slip into these bad personal situations and ideas while working. Most of the rest of the world supports these kinds of ideas, but that doesn’t make them any less abusive. Just know you deserve to be loved, period. You aren’t “lucky” to have found a guy who vaguely accepts what you do most of the time but calls you a whore when he’s really angry. He hasn’t truly accepted your work, and he’s a dick. I was being told things like, “You don’t deserve food” by people at home and at work. Recognize when people are saying insane shit like that. It is verbal abuse and nothing about your job changes that. I am still recovering from that experience, and it happened over a year ago.
Toothless- Created August 2014 Berlin
I tried knitting a Toothless, because he is so adorable and cute and I want to squeeeeeze him.
He doesn’t look exactly like Toothless (at least not as much as I would have liked him too) but I think he is still cute.
I’m writing this as a final note to my store (redacted) and the Walmart corporation as a whole.
It started when I came out as Transgender in 2012 (toward the end of the year), and I was immediately told by two of my Assistant Managers (redacted) and a Personel associate (redacted) that I both could not have a name badge that reflected my preferred name (regardless of all of the people who have nicknames on their badges, some of which do not reflect their legal names at all) and that I could not use the women’s restroom, because “it’s against the law in Pennsylvania” (even though it is not against the law and is both a violation of my rights and Walmart discrimination policy).
HR was later contacted and I was given the “okay” to have my correct name badge.
Throughout the course of my time with Walmart, I opted to use the “family restroom,” which is a single stall restroom that I consider the one and only safe, gender neutral bathroom in the store. This side-stepped more problems that I may have had with management and coworkers and provided a 100% safe place for me to use the bathroom.
After coming out, I put up with name-calling, intentionally transphobic remarks, the denial of my pronouns (she/her), my name (Meryl), which people either defaulted to my old name, [redacted], or mispronounced my preferred name as “Merl,” a man’s name that is close to the spelling of Meryl (i.e. Meryl Streep).
My IMS co-worker (redacted), a gay man, after learning that my preferred pronouns were she/her and that I have a lot of trouble with people respecting that, thought it would be funny to refer to me as an “it,” and has since, even after having been reported and bringing upon me a panic attack, retained his job.
After around 6-7 months I experienced multiple instances of discrimination and transphobia from my direct supervisor (redacted, who is now the ZMS of Electronics), from being called “that,” to being told that my identity did not matter and if I did not like the way he treated me, I could just as easily leave.
This was followed by a month-long HR investigation that resulted in my supervisor keeping his job and my HR rep, plus two additional managers (co-manager redacted and assistant manager redacted), telling me to my face, that my claims were unsubstantiated. Or, in other words, my supervisor got away with discrimination and creating an unsafe workplace for me, while also completely dodging Walmart’s number one rule of “respect for the individual” and of course, the discrimination policy.
2013 went by with a slow and agonizing crawl toward putting a stop to most of the abuse I received from coworkers and managers on a frequent/daily basis, sometimes just as soon as I’d walk through the door.
Earlier this year, I experienced both sexual harassment and insults from one of my store’s co-managers (co-manager redacted).
While I was working in grocery receiving one day, down-stacking a pallet from the top of the steel, he had come back to throw cardboard away and proceeded to lean over his shopping cart (where he’d been keeping empty cardboard) and leered at me for at least 5 minutes, without reason or words. I took this as sexual harassment.
Not even a half hour later, he denied my pronouns (called me him/he) multiple times in front of a handful of associates as if it was no big deal and that it wasn’t totally against Walmart discrimination policy (even though it is).
A month ago, this same co-manager brought myself and the rest of the IMS team into the office to explain to us how OSA first worked, and decided to use my old name (redacted), 3 times before finally correcting himself, in front of all of my coworkers.
Nobody did or said anything.
All of the aforementioned was also reported to HR, and seeing as how apologies were never made by any of the people I’ve ever reported (and all of them still have jobs with the company), I’m going to assume that nothing was ever done to correct this abuse.
This brings us up to two weeks ago when the “family restroom” (my preferred and only restroom of use) was closed and locked for store remodel. Don’t ask me why a bathroom needs to be closed for two to three weeks (or more) in order to replace a sink.
Upon discovering this, I took it upon myself to simply use the lady’s room, because the alternative would have not only been incorrect to my gender, but would/could have also resulted in harassment, assault and in more extreme circumstances, rape or even murder.
On August 14th, 2014, I spoke to HR about a coworker from the Deli (redacted), who had called me “him” on the salesfloor in front of multiple associates and customers. I had also mentioned things that co-manager [redacted] had done, one more time (and was told that this co-manager in-particular is very supportive of me and I was dismissed).
Before the meeting ended, I was told that this would be taken care of (which, judging by their track record, I doubt was true), that they promised there would eventually be an “awareness” meeting with the store (which I also doubted), and that I needed to wait until she (HR redacted) got the “okay” from higher up in order for me to use the women’s restroom.
On August 15th, 2014, I came into work with no restroom to use (at least safely) and was once again facing bad attitudes towards me from coworkers and managers. It was an hour into my shift that I came to the conclusion that, in order to preserve my mental (or what’s left of it) and physical well-being, that my best course of action was to leave my job at Walmart (I could not take one more day of it).
I feel as though I had little choice in the matter and that I was mostly forced to make this decision, unless I wanted to face possible and multiple psychological evaluations and/or trips to the hospital from physical abuse I most likely would have received, being forced to use the men’s restroom for an undetermined amount of time.
I hope that, in any Walmart store, where a transgender employee happens to be employed, that their treatment is light years better than the two years of Hell that I received working for Walmart.
The NYPD killed more civilians in a span of 3 months than all of Germany’s police killed in a year.
More civilians are killed by America’s police force than soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. There’s a war on American soil and we’re to blind to see it.
Thanks Germany for giving us some perspective.
She had curves in all the wrong places - some of them cast a 3-dimensional shadows, still others hummed a low, discordant note as they flitted about like flies. She was nothing like other girls - she was an abomination from the 6th plane of torment
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid
THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME